Posts Tagged ‘smart’
Remember “The One that Got Away”?
Was it unrequited love?
Was it someone else’s crush, unrealized by you?
Was it young love? Puppy love? Was it an actual puppy you couldn’t take home?
Was it a dream or a fantasy you never got to play out?
A goal, a race, a yoga pose?
Tell me about it, stud.
I have more fantasies than the average human. I daydream constantly, and I mean like every 5 minutes I’m building up a scenario in my mind. About marrying that really nice produce clerk at the grocery store. About owning my own hot spring hotel in Japan one day. About becoming a doctor or hot air balloonist or a magician. Or even just a faster swimmer. Better cook. Better writer. Guitar goddess. Having 6-pack abs. Climbing Mount Everest. Bike-camping from Colorado to Panama.
I sometimes tell myself that the problem with having all these dreams is that I’ve chased a lot of different paths, tried a lot of different things but I’m still not really good at any of them. I’m simply mediocre at a whole lot of things. This is not a good feeling. “Mediocre” is not a happy word.
My recent journey, including break-ups, career changes and let-downs, has been that of serious self-confidence work. Becoming a personal trainer, you have to know what your client is going through to really break through when they say they can’t lose the weight, run the mile, lift the weight. Whatever goal they had that was the “One that Got Away’. I do know. I’ve been there. It sucks. But in a week or two, I promise, it won’t matter.
The way to the end of the yellow brick road is not only working hard at that one activity. Sure, running a long distances every day will help you finish a marathon. But it might not. There are always other things than training involved in success. There is a point for distance athletes called “The Wall”. You hit that wall, you ain’t finishing the race. At least quickly. You run out of fuel and your body says “Hello? Can’t you see there’s a wall here? I got nothing. You’re on your own.”
It’s the same thing with your mind. The wall gets another brick every time you say “I can’t”, “I’m not that good”, “I’m just mediocre”, “This’ll just be another thing I can’t do well”. You know the thing about excuses? They condone failure, and by doing so lead to certain failure. Once you hit the wall mentally, you’ve convinced yourself of your own mediocrity and there is very little chance of success. You’re probably always thinking about the “One that Got Away”, whether it got away a long time ago or you’re on the verge of letting it get away right now. Here are some ways to get back your soul and reach your goal. Have you said something like this?
“Wow, that run was hard today. I must be getting worse.”
Step 1: Stop everything. Tell yourself “That’s a damn lie!” Go all Pink Floyd on it and “Tear down the wall!” You just had a long run yesterday and you’re fatigued. You were gardening this morning and your quads are reminding you. You have two kids and you were playing with them in the park yesterday. These are simply some reasons that your run may have been harder today. However: these are NOT excuses not to run. These are what you remind yourself of when you’re sore from the extra hard workout.
These are what you reward yourself for.It doesn’t mean you’re getting worse. When you get worse, you probably haven’t been running. If you need help starting back up, that’s when you ask for help! I’d suggest you talk to a trainer, a life coach or your dad. I’m learning that asking for help is one of the most valuable things you can ever do for yourself.
Step 2: Celebrate your successes. If you made it through that swim practice you wanted to get through without drowning or if you touched your toes for the first time in months, celebration is the key to happiness. Happiness won’t come at the finish line of that race and it won’t come when the scale says that magic number you’ve been dreaming of. It just won’t. Not until you’re happy with the little successes along the way.
If you celebrate touching your toes now, putting your palms on the floor will seem like you’ve died and gone to heaven. But if you think “Sure, I can touch my toes but I still have 20 pounds to lose”, that magic number will get further and further away and it won’t be as fulfilling. You’ll already be thinking about the next goal, the one you still haven’t reached. Celebrate small successes will pre-empt that mental “wall” and make your whole journey easier, however long.
Celebrate with something wonderful, but not with a cake. Give your body the relaxation it craves. Do something or go somewhere that makes you feel happy and at peace.
Step 3: Pick a new goal. Find a new “One”. As in love, people are not meant always meant to stay together forever. Having a goal is great but if it is unattainable or if chasing it is making you frustrated and miserable, get someone to play the best friend role and say “Maybe its time to move on.” Maybe you weren’t meant to climb Mt. Everest. Maybe you should take up piloting and fly over it instead.
Follow your heart and lift yourself up to a place where you can succeed. The forces of the universe will tell you when you’re on the wrong path or chasing after someone or something that is not coming back to you. There will always be the “One that Got Away”. Your job is to accept that and find happiness on your current path.
You are SO much more than mediocre.